Top 10 Designations of Erroneous Parenting
Parents are the child’s first edifiers, preachers and guides. They ken the best for their child and act in his or her best fascinates but parenting is no jape. Though, no one can dote a child like a parent can, yet, parents sometimes incline to make solemn errors which can have solemn repercussions on a child’s psyche. Here are the 10 denotements of erroneous parenting-
10. CORPORAL PENALIZATION
A parent must never never never penalize a child brutally. However grave the fault may be, the children must not be subjected to corporal penalization because this will not only make children distant from their parents but additionally introduce them to deplorable example of violence. Moreover, by inflicting physical pain on children by making them stand for long hours, by slapping or hitting them and so on, the child may simply stop heedfully auricularly discerning the parents because chastizing or merely advising may no longer be efficacious for the child to induce him to follow his parents’ injuctive authorizations.
9. COMPARING WITH ANOTHER CHILD
Lets us admit that none of us has relished it even one bit to be compared with other children by our parents. Parents are admonished time and again by their elders not to compare their child with any other kid, not even with their siblings, for that matter. It would be too tardy afore the parents even get acquainted with that their child has fallen in despondence and is suffering from low aplomb. The child may even resort to becoming solitary and may become introvert. He or she may additionally start resenting his or her siblings or friends or cousins whoever is being compared to them.
8. IT IS MY LIFE-NO TIME FOR KIDS
Parents sometimes get so engrossed in themselves, their vocation and their lives that they forget that children too are a component of their lives now. From vocation to personal goals, everything takes a back seat when the kids arrive on the family scene. Elders feel that their gregarious and professional commitments are equivalently paramount and incline to ignore the desiderata of their kids. So, in such cases either the children are left deserted even in the family, or are left with caretakers, governesses or even in creches. But recollect, none of these can supersede the love of parents for a child. Parents must be meticulous that their children should be their first predilection and additionally, that children deserve all their time in the world.
7. FOR MY LITTLE PRINCE OR PRINCESS
Just as exorbitant in cognizance towards children is not correct on part of the parents, similarly, an inordinate amount of cosseting withal spoils things for the kids. Parents may perceive their cosseting as love and care but in authenticity it is doing more harm that good for their children. Ideally, children should be treated as children only…not as princes and princesses. Giving in to the conjunctive authorizations of children, buying them whatever they opt-ate and giving them all comforts of the world will make them maladroit in authentic world situations. Children must be edified to live in adversity with little facilities so that they learn to revere and cherish all good things in life that they have been endowed with by their parents.
6. THREATS TO DETER
Threats are seldom credible and believe it or not, children, though puerile, are too perspicacious to judge that in a very early age. Parent often resort to chastising and threatening their kids to deter them from making an mistakes or reiterating any faults. But they must pause for a moment fore taking this step and analyze what would transpire to their threats of the children remain obstinate. Children will take their parents advise and suggestions very lightly and incline to overlook them. A better way could be for parents to sit and spend time with their children and make them understand what their parents want from them. This will take the kids a step more proximate to understanding their parents.
5. CARROT AND STICK APPROACH
If you do “something” prosperously, you will get “the carrot” but if not, you would be penalized with “a stick”. Sounds familiar? Well, this is precisely the carrot and stick approach. Parents incline to evoke performance from their children by throwing an enticement a fore them such as a motorbike, or a desired play station or even a car for the fortuitous few! On the contrary, they are penalized by the disconnection of internet, snatching away of mobiles and barring them from visually examining television if they fail to give the desired performance. This may sound fair but it is not. Parents must make their children responsible so that they perform not for the cupidity of something but out of their sense of responsibility. Withal, they must learn that when they make a mistake, they must learn to rectify for their own good.
4. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS CHILD
Parents verbalize that sometimes when their children comport contrary to the parents’ prospects. But they must pause and introspect- if they don’t understand their kids then who will? To understand a child, parents must equip themselves with love, patience, care, patience, time and again, patience. They must prioritize their children’s needs and must verbalize frankly with the kids so that children share everything with their parents. When it is a matter of trust, both sides must take the initiative to build it, so parents must equivalently participate in trust building with their children.
3. I CANNOT STAND THIS BRAT
Parents do not understand this that by openly calling their kid a brat or a menace, they are not doing any good to either themselves or even their kids. Children may be naughty or even a cause of headache sometimes when they make you exasperated but this is inadequate a reason to penalize them with the astringent words. Children need to be dealt with patiently and not with exasperation. The sizable voluminous mistake parents make is that in a fit of vexation they forget that children are only in their cognition stage and they require to be expounded their fault punctiliously so that it can be rectified with equal understanding on the component of children additionally.
2. THE RULEBOOK FOR LIFE
Believe it or not, there is no rulebook for life. Parents incline to lay down the rulebook for their children as anon as the children can commence comprehending what their parents are conveying to them. Do this and don’t do this together commence to summarize the whole life for the children and they desperately seek refuge from the regime of this rulebook. The first step they take is to flout any rules laid down. Ergo, parents must not just lay down rules but should withal expound to their kids why they require to comply.
1. I OPTATE YOU TO GROW UP TO BE…
Most commonly auricularly discerned phrase is “You must become an engineer, or a medico or …” But parents should realize that their children are an independent entity with their own dreams and wishes. Parents are the best guides but they must not enforce their wishes on the children. Children always need their parents for guidance, love, care and understanding which they can best get from their parents only. But, the parents start to coerce them to do something the children do not relish, then kids distance themselves from their parents. Children expect consummate understanding from their parents and so, parents must live up to these by being the desired mentors and not oppressors.
source : http://listcrux.com/
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Jillur Rahman
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